18 Its not fair
“But its not fair” the Little Red Haired Girl whined and as Body looked at her younger self, stamping her foot and crying, she could see her point of view.
Mum had given them all a disadvantage in teaching her children to ‘be fair’. In adulthood, it usually meant one was disappointed or walked over by others.
“Never mind, we can try again tomorrow and maybe it will work better and then you will be happy O.K.?
“Can we, can we do it tomorrow?” she cried.
“Yes if you want to. Perhaps you need to believe it will happen tomorrow and it will?”
“I want my Mummy.”
“I know you do but there is nothing we can do about that, as we said ages ago, she has gone to heaven.”
“Its unfair” and this time she was sobbing.
“Now look what you’ve done” said Brain “you’ve made her cry even more. That wasn’t smart.”
“Shut up. I can do without your nasty dialogue at the moment” I told it.
“I feel hot and fizzy” she cried as Body racked with sobs. So I put my arms around her and held her tight and just let her cry. She and Body needed to.
Heart said nothing. It was buried so deep it would take real digging to get it to volunteer an opinion, and a lot of effort to get it to the surface.
“How long is this going to take? Brain asked “because your Body is running low on energy and needs to eat.”
“It will take as long as it takes.”
“Give me numbers here, a time?”
“Shut up” Body told it.
She felt Nana’s hand stroking her forehead she went to sleep and remembered what she had told her “Sweetheart life isn’t fair, you just have to learn to deal with whatever life throws at you” and could have sworn she was there with her. It didn’t matter either way, she felt better for remembering her kindness and her presence. And now she was doing the same for the Little Red Haired Girl and hoped it comforted her.
“Why can I not go to the party?”
“Because we weren’t invited” Body told her flatly and wished she could tell her something different, but I will take you to another party tomorrow. We can have our own O.K?”
She quietened a little “You promise?”
“Yes I promise.”
Brain huffed “People don’t keep their promises, you should have learnt that by now.”
Heart said nothing.
The big voice said “I give people choices, its up to them what they do with them.”
“Who is that? The big voice that we keeping hearing?” the child asked.
“I’m not sure but shall we find out tomorrow?”
“Yes please.”
So they sat there in silence and thought about the possibility of tomorrow. A tiny smattering of hope, as light and flimsy as a dust speck shown in the moonlight settling on their sleeve.
© 2024 Jennifer Harris. Free And Alive 555
