Butterflies

Chapter 13

The Little Red Haired Girl

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13 Butterflies

“Why am I still in this horrible place? I want my Mummy.” The Little Red Haired Girl’s bottom lip began to tremble and her eyes became large and watery.
“We are stuck in here” my adult Body told her “and as yet I haven’t figured a way out.”
“Do you want a hug?”
“No, you’re not my Mummy and anyway why do I have to be here with you?”
“Because we are one, joined together. You are the younger version of me.”
“That’s not fair, I want Mummy, and anyway you are all growed up.”

“Get out of this one ” said Brain.
“Oh shut up Brain, sometimes you really are an arse.”
“O.K.” it replied “Over to you.”

“Yes I am all growed up, you are right” Body told her.
“Then why am I here if I am supposed to be you? Its unfair” The Little Red Haired Girl started to really cry.
“Well come and sit with me and I will try and explain.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Its a bit like a fairy story?” Body said trying to spark her interest.
“Do I have to sit next to you?”
“Not if you don’t want to.”

She wiped her tears on the arm of her sleeve, and sat still. She looked directly at me which was her signal to say Body could proceed.

“O.K. When you played in the back garden with your dolls, do you remember you made them Daisy fairy crowns?”
She just looked at me.

“What else could you see in the garden when you picked the Daisies?”
“Ants”
“O.K. where were they?”
“On the grass silly, where I picked the daisy.”
“My mistake sorry. Tell me, what else did you see?”

“Is this a game of ‘I Spy’?” she asked “coz I’ve played that before but its dark in here and I cannot see.”
She was starting to sound upset again.
“I know but that doesn’t matter because its like ‘I Spy’ only using your memory.”

She thought. “There were those long ugly things with lots of legs.”
“Caterpillars?” Body guessed
“I think so”
“Do you know what caterpillars become?”
“No.” but she looked curious.
“They become Butterflies”
“Thats not right. Caterpillars are ugly and Butterflies are pretty. So pretty, the Fairies ride on them when they go on a long journey.”
“Oh do they. How lovely! Anyway, Caterpillars go for a long sleep after all their eating of grass and Grandads cabbages. And during that long sleep, they change into a Butterfly.”

“How long is this fairy story going to last?” said Brain “Coz I need to go to sleep and so does the pain in your body.”

Ignoring Brain, Body carried on. “Some growed up people are the same. They go for a long sleep and go to school everyday, and get bigger until they change into a butterfly”

“How do Caterpillars change?”
“Just as our bodies grow. You know you are taller than you were last year?”
“Yes, Mummy had to make me some new dresses.”
“Caterpillars just outgrow their dresses and become a Butterfly with a new prettier party dress. Its just what they do.” Body waited holding her breath.
I watched her try to comprehend as the cogs of puzzlement and then joy came over the Little Red Haired Girl’s face.

“Like the time at Christmas when I fell asleep and woke up in my bestest party dress and I didn’t know who had put it on? and Mummy let me keep it on all day.”

“That was a lucky escape” said Brain “that she hasn’t asked more like how? or why? thank goodness otherwise we’d be here all night.”
“We are here all night. Can you explain it?”
“Not to a child” Brain admitted.
“Then shut up.”

“Yes just like Christmas, waking up in your party dress. It must be a lovely surprise. Sometimes growed up people keep their younger selves like you with them because they remain caterpillars on the ‘inside’. They feel all prickly sometimes or they cannot make up there mind about things, or get tearful when they don’t need to”
“Why?”
“I think sometimes its because they are all growed up on the outside, already in their party dress, but they remain caterpillars and childlike on the inside and woke up having missed some of the party. The outside is all growed up but the inside isn’t.”
“Speak for yourself” said Brain.

Heart said nothing.

“Is the caterpillar going to get out?” she asked with concern.
“Yes sometimes it comes out when there’s an argument or an accident. It feels all prickly. Sometimes it comes out to tickle us with its hairs and make us laugh at the incorrect moment. Sometimes they are a joy to have around just like you.”
“So why am I here?”

“Yes” said Brain “get to the point.”

“So you can help me let the Caterpillar out.. So I can talk to you about our childhood and let the caterpillar become a butterfly in its full party dress.”

“How do we find a way? Can we go to the party too?”

“Yes we can once we find the right path in amongst Brain. As you know Brain is a bit ‘huffy’. Not always as helpful as it could be. But you can be my helper.”

“Your Fairy helper? Can I take a ride on the Butterfly like they do?”
“You can be who you want to be child. I am just glad you are here.”

“So we can let the Caterpillar free and we can be a Butterfly?”

“Yes, then wherever the Butterfly lands, wherever it goes, it is always beautiful inside and out.”

Brain shook bodies head. This therapy Body was doing was different, and Brain could no longer control it. “Should I be worried?” it asked.

“No” replied Body as she joined it in putting her head in her hands.

She realised her movements were restricted as the Little Red Haired Girl had climbed into her lap and fallen asleep in her arms.
She sighed. Time for sleep herself and she heard Nana’s ticking clock that she would hum tunes to, like a beating drum, whenever she stayed over at Nana’s house.

“I remember that clock” Nanas voice said as she stroked my hair off my forehead before she kissed me goodnight. “See you tomorrow.”

‘Tomorrow’ she thought, ‘daylight tomorrow Thank goodness’
“Your welcome” said the other voice that was now familiar.
“Yes thank you” she said out loud and felt safer at the thought of the rising sun and that the daylight would bring hope.