25 Gifts

The Little Red Haired Girl

‎19/‎09/‎2024

25 Gifts
“What makes me scared all the time?” the Little Red Haired Girl asked.
“I don’t know honey, its probably because we are stuck in this dark Pumphouse” Body heard the lips say. “Do you want to come and have a hug?”
“No” she said solemnly “I have always felt scared all my life.”
Body smiled as her life, as far as it could see probably totalled no more than 8 years old.

“Stop laughing at me” she said angrily “its true, I have always felt scared and no one believes me not even Mummy.”

The smile was wiped “I’m sorry I did not mean to smile, but you are not very old to say that are you?”
“It don’t matter. I don’t care what you think. I always feel scared.” She carried on tracing her finger along the cracks in the Pumphouse wall, and it was obvious to Body that it was her way of distracting herself from the feeling.

Brain took over “Maybe something happened in your early years to make you scared?”
“Come on Brain, you cannot talk to her about therapy, she’s too little to understand” said Body immediately on the defence.
“Ok then I will talk to you Body, after all you know how inner worries or stress can affect you physically. The adrenalin rush that makes you want to fight , flight or freeze. You produce the hormone. The long term damage this can cause manifested in pain and headaches etc etc. You also know that if this little one say’s she has always felt scared that there was some experience in her earlier years that created it. Maybe someone bullied her at school? Maybe her parents did not make her feel safe and secure? The therapy you are doing will get to the bottom of it. It can only be good for us.”
“I agree. But there is something in this child’s nature that has always made her scared. I don’t feel that therapy is a tool for blaming one’s parents or school or siblings. After all I am 64 years old and responsible for my own life and decisions.”
“True” said Brain “but it will help ‘us’ should I say, understand why we made the choices we did based on family influences and external ones. All of our influences and experiences lead to decisions and choices not just one.”
“I agree” said Body “and if Heart was talking properly we would know even more. But there is something within this child’s nature and mine that I believe her. That she and I have always sensed fear or danger. I feel it in my stomach and on my skin and in my nerves like a tightly strung instrument. A tension. I think this child was born with it. Do you remember in later years Mum talking about it?”

“No I don’t. But I think you are talking about the old ‘Nature verses Nurture’ argument and Brain huffed because it didn’t know all the answers about the subject. “Perhaps had you picked up a book, allocated time and studied then I would know more theories and facts about it.”

“I don’t necessarily believe facts come into this.” sighed Soul

“Oh this will be interesting” scoffed Brain “Go on then, lets have your input for what its worth.”

Soul ignored Brains insult and sighed. “Have you ever heard people comment about a new born baby when their eyes start to focus on peoples faces and look at you properly?”
“What colour their eyes are?” asked Body.
“No” sighed Soul “sometimes people notice that the babies eyes have knowledge behind them, or some people may say ‘they are an old soul’ in a new little body. Some people acknowledge they see a sense of recognition or remembrance if you like within the babies eyes. Some even go as far as saying ‘they’ve been here before’ and laugh as if its a far fetched and predictable joke.”

“Where is this going? said Brain “Are you trying to say that this ‘baby’ has been on earth before?” and laughed. Predictably.

“It may be that possibly, or that maybe we are given certain characteristics before we get here, so that we have the tools to survive for a pre-planned life path. It inspires me to think that way, there is a completeness to it, a purpose. Maybe ‘we’ were born ready to fight for a purpose we know nothing about yet.”

“You cannot verify anything you are saying as per usual” Brain stated and Body raised its eyes to the heavens.
Body recounted and refreshed Brains memory from years later when Mum told how she, the Little Red Haired Girl, as a tiny child and only just crawling would hide behind the sofa when someone, anyone new came to the house. How she would stay there watching until such time the tot judged it to be safe to come out.

“So” sighed Soul “who, if your early life experiences are all that create your character, taught this child to do that? She was too young to have ‘learnt’ it was better to hide. It was within her from the start.”

Brain replied to this in a bit of a tantrum, reciting all it thought it knew about genetics, instincts for survival, its limited knowledge about science and even Darwinism. It made itself a fool and resorted to experience by saying “Not everybody says that about babies, not everyone recognises a so called ‘old soul’ in the babies eyes. In fact some people cannot even acknowledge the Mum’s pride in how cute it is and secretly think ‘crikey that’s one ugly baby.’

Heart squirmed and said in a tiny distant voice “How unkind.”

There was a silence.

Soul continued “Ok but are you blaming the viewers inability to see it? or denying the existence of the look in the babies eyes? Lets imagine we spend a lot of money on a really superb music centre”
Brain laughed “That dates you.”
“Oh ok whatever Music is played on nowadays. Whatever you buy is of the highest quality, the best professional music system, is only ever as good as your ears are capable of hearing it with. It means that the inspiring beautiful music played on it is only as precise and astute as the ears perceiving it. Or a racing car of Formula 1 standard is only ever as good as the person driving it. Some information maybe lost to the listener or the driver depending on their own capabilities and perception of it. One can only see and hear what one tunes into or learns about, The babies eyes, or rather the knowledge behind them, is not seen by some.”

“What a load of Codswallop!” Brain exclaimed.
“As you see fit and I rest my case” sighed Soul.

“This is making me tired and very stressed and I am overheated” declared Body shifting on the concrete floor to try and remove some of the pain in her bum.
“Its better than being cold” said Nana. “If you ever have to make a choice through poverty of either eating or staying warm, chose warmth.”

“So” Brain continued “These educated and tuned ears, these skills as a driver, both come from practise and dedication, hard work and focus, education and family encouragement. They are the attributes required, nothing is a given.”

“Not necessarily” sighed Soul “That is my point. All the attributes you have mentioned are absolutely true and worthy contributors. But gifts and insight are different, some people have them and some don’t. Some people see them and some don’t. We are all born with gifts. Whether we discover them or not is a different matter.”

“So who gives us these insights or gifts as you call them?”
“We do” said Nana.

“Prove it” said Brain.
“We don’t need to” said the unfamiliar familiar voice. “You will find out from us when the time is right and if you are receptive to it.”