124 Tap Tap

The Little Red Haired Girl

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124 Tap Tap

Spirit was reflecting in the dark Pumphouse whilst all was quiet and still.

What could Spirit have done to make this past year less troublesome? Lighter? What had happened to make Spirit want to give up the fight? To lose its inspiration?
What could Spirit have done differently? What was its own responsibility and calling? How could Spirit have helped Heart with the relationship with Noswad?

So many questions and callings that had not been answered. Maybe Soul was right, perhaps the confinement within this Pumphouse was for the purpose of self reflection?
Spirit knew it was naturally reserved around people it did not know well, and had always been so since Body had been a very small child. A shy and fearful child. Spirit also knew that past fights of betrayals from others and its own unfaithful , stubborn and devilish nature sometimes had created problems and its own state of constant suspicion and mistrust. It had got Spirit into the calling of ‘expect the worst and anything else is a bonus’ type of aura. Spirit admitted this attitude could not be easy for others to live with. It would require others to be patient and reassuring to Body frequently, and that must be tiring to live with. Spirit was ashamed of this calling, this calling that had let life experiences from the past tarnish Spirits hope and inspiration. ‘No more’ Spirit vowed. I must find a way of replacing that aura with better. Find a calling that renewed its inspiration and hope. Find something that Spirit and all of them, Body, Brain, Heart, and Soul would enjoy doing just for the fun of doing it. Something that would would connect them to others and may give them inspiration too!

Maybe, had Spirit been less intuitive, Heart would still have Noswad as a loving partner? But it had not been prepared to ignore the intuition and neither had Soul. Spirit decided that intuition was like an early warning system of an unseen problem, and Spirit felt in the case of Noswad, it was powerful enough to be justified. It had not been ignored and Soul had acted upon it voicing ‘no’ to his request to wait for him as he left without rhyme or reason. Rightly or wrongly? Spirit may never know the answer. Noswad was the only person who could shed light on why he left. That would rest with his own conscience and his own spirit. Creating arguments as an excuse to leave did not fit a calling Spirit knew or would use. It did not sit well.

Spirit also realised that its own creative needs had been put on the back burner for years, partly from the way life got in the way generally speaking, you know, Body having a child and earning money to raise her, partly because of its own fears of failure. Failures of the past creative careers overshadowing the future ones, but one did not have the make a career out of a creative endeavour, it could just be because Spirit enjoyed doing it and what was wrong with that? as Spirit realised its did not have to be as hard on itself . It didn’t have to be a career. It didn’t have to be perfect. It was not wasted time because Spirit did not earn money from it. Hell It did not even have to become ‘work’! as long as it harmed no one else what was Spirits problem?
Why did Spirit feel it had to justify its time in doing something it enjoyed? Where had Spirit got this calling of ‘over achievement’ and ‘perfectionism’ from? It was hard to tell but it vowed to challenge it.

Spirit recently had also become aware of other spirits, not just Nana visiting, but spirits of definite good or bad. Messages Body had received about people in dreams, Spirit had felt there arrival in the night some that were malevolent and dark in nature, and spirits that were good energy and there for their own protection, that spoke on faith in the good that was going to happen in the future. In fact, without these good energies visiting and protecting, Spirit felt they would not have survived at all on this earthly realm. Spirit went dark itself at this conclusion and completely blended with the darkness within the Pumphouse, just at the remembered aura of this being recalled.
What was the purpose of these spirit visits good or bad? Why were they receiving them ? Why now?
Spirit vowed to protect themselves from the bad ones and listen as best they could to the good spirits that had in the recent past, saved them them and given them guidance and protection. Spirit vowed to to watch for the signs given by nature and animals, numbers and star gazing, and with the benefit of hindsight there had been plenty that they had all five of them ignored through their own lack of knowledge.

The crows that had visited the house and called out their warnings. The butterflies and dragonflies that seemed to follow Body every time she took a walk.

The little Robin, Body rescued by putting it in the shade from the sun and giving it water, after it had spent a long time tapping at the full length glass door at the back of the house. Body ignoring it whilst sitting in her own well of tears and depression. Saying ‘get up, get out, and get on. Tap Tap, Tap Tap, Tap Tap’. There were many signs nature had given them, where did these spirit messages come from?

The malevolent spirits, Spirit decided it did not need to know, just how to protect themselves from. The good spirits, Spirit vowed to call upon once it had learnt how to and discovered more about them. They had a higher calling and one Spirit decided it wanted to be a part of.

Had Brain been awake, it would have scoffed at the mere idea of the other spirits existing. It only just accepted their own as being significant! If there is a God, a Big voice, a Universal power? Who is the Holy Spirit the bible makes reference to? Who are the angels if they are not spirit messengers? And if spirit exists for the good, by the law of the way things work in life, there will be the opposite. The bad malevolent spirits who’s purpose was not good and not what Spirit wanted to call out whilst stuck in this dark Pumphouse for it made Body visibly shudder in its sleep as it took up Spirits energy. Why they had been under attack from malevolent spirits? was unforeseen for now. Who had sent them and how? was indeterminate.

All they could do was as spiritual court had relayed to Nana, be silent, be still, be protected in here and heal with self reflection about how they, all five, could be better for themselves and towards others.

“Learn to love yourself first” Big voice whispered “however you call it, but get up off the floor and live your own life in truth and for the good of all. Hope and inspiration will return so wake up!”