96 A New Start

The Little Red Haired Girl

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96 A New Start

Nana left the Pumphouse in exhaustion with only just having enough energy to displace the air within it. There had been so much discussed.

All five Body, Brain, Heart, Spirit and Soul resolved to work together and heal all the pain. It was difficult to say the least bearing in mind that Brain had no knowledge of Spiritual connection or awakening, or Religious knowledge, or any knowledge at all about who their supposed ‘enemies’ were, that are and have been attacking them. Just hunch’s from Spirit, pain from Heart, Body’s strange recollections of surprising conversations and Soul’s current lack of destiny and purpose, and search for a new path. It made Spirit very angry to call out anyone who may have been stealing from them in anyway and Brain and Body frustrated that there was nothing they could physically do about it. Whether stealing money in the recent past or any future money or gifts they knew nothing about made no difference to the frustration Brain had, and now being told to be silent, stuck and trapped within this Pumphouse all Brain could do was accept it, unbelievable or not. Nana knew it was going to be difficult for them all.

At the Pumphouse Body whined “I hope I am strong enough to survive I cannot remember when I last ate.”
“You do not have to have physical strength to help us meditate and pray, just use your placement for reflection and Brains memory.” called Spirit.
“True, but I can’t help but feel overused and overtired and in fact, over it” Body sighed.

“Don’t waste that breath of yours” sighed Soul “use it with meditation. Let’s do it this way, with every breath in Body let Brain think about what we would like our life to be like. What have we enjoyed or would like to do? Who has been good for you? And with every breath out, think about what we need to release and who isn’t good for us? What has worked for us and what hasn’t?” sighed Soul.

“That requires my co-operation and help” stated Brain “and I will have to work hard to get rid of all the other thoughts and discover which ones are significant.”
“A good starting point” sighed Soul “can you filter out what’s irrelevant?”
“I can try” replied Brain “but it will be difficult seeing as I am inundated with questions and no answers.”
“Then trust that the answers will come with time. As Nana said, the court wishes us to be silent and patient” sighed Soul.

“Think of a picture that will help” the Little Red Haired Girl suggested.
“What do you mean little one” asked Brain.
“Like Grandads round thing with holes in it. He used to keep it in the shed and if I was good he would let me tap the sides and watch all the soil come out better than it was before.”
“Can someone enlighten me?” begged Brain.

“I think she is referring to a garden sieve. For making fine soil for seeds” cried Heart.

“Yes and there is no weeds in it or daisy’s. It’s really clever but you have to catch it in a bucket. The good stuff is in the bucket and all the lumps and weeds are kept in it on the top.”

“It may help” cried Heart “Give it a try.”

And so they worked together, Brain trying to ‘sieve’ the thoughts, Heart asking for what it wished for, Spirit being guided from somewhere it didn’t know and Soul trying to decipher a new path forward. Body breathed slowly and consistently and could feel every artery and vein, nerve pathways and all extremities, occasionally dozing off even but it didn’t matter. Even in sleep it was strange but she seemed to feel full of Spirits light, burning from within her till it filled her whole Body. She was also aware that the pain in her shoulders was still absent thank goodness, ever since that doll had been found and cleansed. Brain took note of that.

Body also noticed that this feeling of perpetual tiredness was different somehow, not medically induced but it did feel as familiar as the Fybromyalgia symptoms, but it was different these days and Brain found and recollected exactly what it was.

When she was working full time and self employed, and finally got two weeks off for a holiday it was like the first week was wasted. Why did she feel that way?
Because she had kept strong and working hard all year, and the first week of holiday was always spent in sleep. Like a years worth of sleep finally catching up with her. The relief was overwhelming. So why did Body feel like this now in the Pumphouse when all she had was rest in this confinement? Brain finally caught on, relief, she felt relief that these people had left her life for the moment some she never wished to see again. The Builder, Noswad, Friend and also family. The relief was the familiar tiredness and the result of letting these people go. Temporarily or otherwise.

Brain realised that Body had been so stressed and put on unseen edge from people, that instead of fighting to keep them Body felt relief as she let them go. They can’t have been any good for them at the moment, or possibly even ever been (time would tell), and letting them go was for the best. It made Body so relieved it felt a different kind of tiredness. Holiday tiredness. That was it! It was a revelation! Now all they had to do was convince Heart of the same. And it would be difficult as who would want to lose their friends and family? Who would not hope for their return? That would be harder and maybe even unachievable.

“I agree” called Spirit “I am tired of fighting for peoples attention and understanding when it’s never reciprocated. Let’s just sit back. They either want to be in our life or they don’t. Their actions will prove it to us one way or another.”

“I’m not sure” cried Heart “I miss them terribly. How can we ever get them back? They will not understand and then it will be for good and I don’t want to try and replace them? I would want them back”

“We don’t need to” sighed Soul. “They will want to join us on our path or not, or even one that runs parallel to ours. First we need to decide where we want to go next. We need to put ourselves first. What direction is to be decided and will become clear if we heal and continue to meditate.”

“But they need us” cried Heart “I do not want to let them down. We have love for each other and should stand by them.”
“How long for? called Spirit “and have they been there for us? How long do we have to wonder where we stand in their life?”

“If you have to wonder, take a seat, we don’t matter” sighed Soul. “It should not be a question.”

“This is starting to sound like damage limitation” Brain stated.

“And so it should be ” called Spirit “we cannot keep giving our energy to people to the point of extreme loss of our own.”

“Miss told me to go to the back of the dinner queue” the Little Red Haired Girl announced.

“Is this relevant?” asked Brain.
The child just stared. “What does that mean?”
“Is this important?” Brain asked again.
“Yes” she said with confidence.

“Why child? Why did Miss ask you to go to the back of the queue?” Heart cried.
“Coz she didn’t like me.” It was a statement of fact as far as the child saw it.
“Come on little one you don’t know that. Why would she not like you?”
“She just didn’t. I knew. But it’s Ok Nana said you cannot please everyone all of the time.”

“Were you trying to please her?”
“No. I was just closest to the bell so I had less far to run to the queue. It’s Ok though, not everyone has to like you . Mummy says some people do and some people don’t.”

“Ah did it upset you child?” cried Heart.
“No. It’s just the way it is. I went to the back of the queue but it was good.”

“Why?” asked Brain.

“Coz my best friend was there and we got to sit at the same table, AND we got more pudding!”
“How?” Spirit asked.
“Coz the dinner ladies said there was more left than they counted, so we got more AND custard too!”

“Sometimes it’s the small justices that count and we should be grateful for” sighed Soul “but we can learn a lot from it.”
“How so?” asked Brain.
“I think it’s called Karma” called Spirit “good and bad Karma. Take your pick. One man’s downfall may be another’s good fortune.”
“I am still struggling to tie in how this is relevant” huffed Brain.

“It means that if people have been unkind, or wicked or deceitful in what they do, Karma has a way of restoring the balance. If we have enemies, they will get punished for their behaviour. It may take a while, in fact sometimes it takes so long that people do not realise or make the connection between the wicked deed and the punishment. Sometimes it takes several lifetimes to be connected, but it’s there nevertheless. What you put out is eventually what you get back be that your own punishment or a reward, or that of your adversary. It’s a balance.”

“A balancing act I try to sort out everyday” said Big voice “And still people don’t learn even though they have free will to chose. They need to learn.”