198 Who would want to?

Searching for answers

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198 Who would want to?

The Little Red Haired Girl questioned herself. ‘Who would want to show me?’
“Show you what?” called Spirit. “It’s not often I hear your thoughts child you are usually so vocal. Show you what?”

“I don’t know” the child answered honestly. “It’s just like something is missing like I don’t need anyone to push me on the swings but it would be nice if someone did”
“I hear you child” Heart cried. “It’s nice that Alison let you use her swing though is it not?”
“Yes” the child looked at her feet as her toes dug into the Indian rug beneath her. “But she never wanted to be there and to push me. You know take it in turns. Mummy said I was lucky to have such a friend that let me use it coz we couldn’t afford one. Same with Elenika’s scooter.”
“Yes you were, it’s good they both let you use them” Heart repeated.
“Pose so” the child answered but obviously wasn’t convinced “but something was missing. It’s like having a watch but not knowing how to tell the time, but I knows how to tell the time coz Grandad taught me.”

“I think it’s more important how to use the time as well as tell it” Brain concluded “and time spent on the swings or scooter is not particularly ‘well spent’ time.”
“I disagree” called Spirit “it’s part of growing up and feeling joyful.”
“Maybe” Brain surmised.
“It’s all part of the journey” sighed Soul.

“Explain to us child” called Spirit. “What was missing?”
“I don’t know” the child insisted.
“Someone to share it with?” cried Heart.
“No, these are solo endeavours” Brain insisted. “You can’t share a scooter. Well actually that’s not true, in poorer countries people share all manner of transportation and journeys at their peril. A whole family on a scooter or motorbike, or hanging off an overcrowded train or bus.”
“I’m not sure those type of journeys are what the child is talking about” sighed Soul.

“No she isn’t” Body stepped in. “As a child, is it not fun to share a bike ride? or take it in turns? or participate in sharing? It’s how one learns to share and part of the fun of it.”
“So what’s missing then?” Brain was getting impatient.

“Can one not go higher or feel as if it does if it’s being pushed or suspended and let go of? Can a scooter not go faster or appear to if there is someone waiting for you at the finish line? Isn’t the fun part in seeing others compete or acheive the same?” called Spirit. “What if they teach you or help you acheive the same, or a goal? Does it not feel better and good?”
“Investment” Soul sighed. “Investing in time with others.”
“What does that mean In…vest…ment?” the child asked.

“Putting money, time and effort into a situation” Brain assessed. “In most cases it refers to financial aquisitions and usually requires a sacrifice of short term gain to offer better in the future.”
“So the child had the resources, and the time, what was missing was effort” Spirit called.
“No it wasn’t” the child stamped her foot. “I made lots of effort. I could go really high on the swing by myself. I don’t need anyone to push me.”
“I’m sure you did child” Heart cried, “but we are trying to find out what was missing and it would appear to be effort.”
“Not mine” she shouted.
“Ooooh err” Spirit called “Come on now child, we all take part in effort not just you, and to be fair we all get tired of making an effort with consistency. Do not think you are perfect.”
“I’m not.” The child reflected for a second or maybe two. “And anyway I got used to it.”

Body got up to make a cup of tea and noticed out of the balcony window, the same man was sitting on the bench in the park. He was there yesterday but hey ho… it’s a public park. People come and go as they please. Body’s face suddenly coloured and she felt embarrassed for no apparent reason. Where had that come from?

“A memory has just pulled forward” Brain answered. “A husband who asked the pub regulars ‘who would like to take his wife to the theatre to watch the ballet?'”

Body remembered, it had been humiliating in several ways not least because no one had answered as the silence hung, until the chivalrous barman had answered ‘he would’. Body’s face felt hot as the distinct lack of effort on the husbands part was not only acknowledged but advertised for offer.

“Got used to what child?” Heart cried and ignored Body’s discomfort.
“No one to want to play with me” the child answered.
“I think the child has stopped her journey ” Soul sighed. “Somewhere along the path she got stuck with no self worth, as I can see blockages across her way.”

“Physical Blockages?” questioned Body,
“And emotional ones” cried Heart.
“And spiritual” called Spirit. “Some learnt, some created, some natural shyness, some put in place by experience and from what I would estimate, at a very early age.”

“And what would be the purpose in that?” Brain enquired, “to what purpose?”
“I am not sure” sighed Soul “perhaps there was not a purpose, just resignation on her part.”
“Will no one make the investment?” asked Brain. “Will no one else make the effort?” At least equal to the effort being given? I can see why she may have felt this way.” Brain offered its support which surprised them all.

“No.” replied the child. “Who would want to? I don’t have a swing or a scooter. I don’t have nothing someone would want. It’s the way it is” (Body felt a vague sense of recent deja vu). “Who would want to?”

“I will”. Big voice had spoken.