132 Lonely

The Little Red Haired Girl

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132 Lonely

The walk home from the Pumphouse was initially exciting and they set off at a reasonable pace even though Body was exhausted.

Body was just so pleased to be out! To feel the breeze on her skin and the sun, which was rising as they walked and Body’s eyes were so keen to see all she had missed whilst in the Pumphouse. The trees began to take colour, colour she had missed it so much even though the moon had done its best during imprisonment, colour was irreplaceable.

Body began to slow and Brain ticked her off.
“Come on get moving or we will never get there!” Brain insisted.
“I am doing my best, but I have no energy and I am so thirsty. I haven’t ate or drank in days…well nights..erm however long we were in the Pumphouse for” Body said with exasperation.

“Conserve your energy” sighed Soul “and stay silent. We still have a way to go.”
“I know, but my feet are dragging.”

“Mummy always told me to pick my feet up” the Little Red Haired Girl piped up “even when my socks was falling down.”
“Quite right” called Spirit “stand up straight and lift your head up as well. It will make your feet lighter and your body work better.”
“Easy for you to say” stated Body “you don’t have a leg to stand on!”
“Very droll” laughed Spirit “but try it. It will help you feel lighter.”

“Look at the sun coming up” the child suggested “on the orizon.”
“Horizon” corrected Brain.
“I know what I mean” was the childs short reply. She went on. “Let’s be happy the sun is coming up and we are out of the darkness. We could even pretend to be soldiers and walk in time, or count our steps?”
“We could” Body admitted and so they did. The tempo wavered a little along the way, but the child kept Body distracted from the pain and the exhaustion.

Body’s eyes marvelled at the golden sunrise and heard the morning birdsong that she had never appreciated before. It was like it was all brand new to her.

It worked for a while.
Body’s feet began to trip occasionally, or her knees would buckle and she would have to pick herself up off the ground. It felt like she was dragging something heavy behind her, something tied to her feet and although Body turned around to check, there was nothing there.

“Come on” sighed Soul “we can do this path.”
“Dust yourself off and get up” called Spirit.
“There is nothing dragging behind you, you are on your own” stated Brain.
But Body still felt it.

Finally Heart spoke “I don’t want to go home.”
“What? you want to stay in the Pumphouse?” questioned Brain.
“Of course not” Heart cried “we would have died, but I don’t want to go home.”

“Why?” the Little Red Haired Girls asked and Heart was silent for a while as Body heaved herself up off the ground once more.
“Have your socks gone to sleep? Coz I know that does not feel nice and slows me down?” the Little Red Haired Girl questioned.
“No child. Body’s socks are fine” Heart answered.

“Did you forget something like a book for school? Coz that don’t feel nice too.”
“Doesn’t” corrected Brain “and either.”
Body rolled its eyes to the heavens.

The child ignored Brain and asked Heart “Have you lost a doll or your special rock?”
“No” Heart answered but knew it was a lie. “Yes I have lost something which is why I don’t want to go home.”
“Shall we go back and look for it? What was it?” the child persisted.
“You won’t find it” cried Heart “It’s gone for good this time and it makes me not want to go home.”

“What’s gone Heart? Tell me and I will keep an eye out for it” the child was keen to help.
“It cannot be seen” cried Heart. “If I see it I will want it back and it’s no good for me.”
“Like chocolate?”
“A little bit” admitted Heart.

“I think Heart is trying to say Noswad. She misses Noswad” Brain interrupted.
“He won’t be at home” Heart cried “so now I don’t want to go there. Everything in there is full of things that I wanted, shared or thought about for him. I don’t want to go.”
“Well quit it Heart. You are dragging my efforts down and I am already exhausted and full of pain.” Body was annoyed.

“We have to go home, Body needs to eat and drink” called Spirit.
“Our path is not finished” sighed Soul “we have to carry on.”
“What for?” cried Heart “or more importantly who for? It’s going to hurt more as soon as we go inside the house. The memories, the last conversation, the unmade bed. I can’t face it.”
“We can fix the bed, make a meal and have a long soak in the bath. You will start to feel better Heart” Body offered.

“What if Heart doesn’t?” the child asked and remembered Brains previous correction. “What then? What will we do?”
“Cry some more and let it out” called Spirit.
“Oh please no, really? stuttered Brain.
“Shut up Brain” the child shouted “you are ‘posed to be nicer now. You said you would be. You are just like a bully at school.”

“What would you know of bullying child?” Heart cried.
“It’s not nice. There was a horrible boy at school and it’s not nice. Mummy said to wipe my tears away and learn from it.”
“Learn what child?” Heart cried.
“To be nicer and then he won’t pick on me.”

“Oh my” sighed Soul “sometimes child that is the wrong path. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself.”
“Yes” called Spirit “you have to call them out and if necessary, fight for yourself.”
“That’s a little extreme” sighed Soul “and I wouldn’t recommend that little one, but you can ignore them, walk away and avoid them.”
“Turn the other cheek” stated Body.

“Speak to the teacher” stated Brain “is the obvious solution.”
“Then you get called teachers pet” the child sighed resigned. “Can Heart do it?”
“Do what?” Heart asked.
“Walk away from Noswad?”
“It’s what I did, but I am saddened by it. It makes Heart heavy and sad.”
“Don’t I know it” Body chimed in.
“Then we will carry you. Here in my pocket. It’s safe in my pocket.”

“It will be” called Spirit “and we will protect you from now on.”
“We will stand up for you on a better path” sighed Soul.
“We will finish the house. We will keep ourselves busy so you don’t have time for remembering, as long as I am fit and able” Body confirmed.
“And when you do member Noswad, you can cry ugly tears. We don’t mind. No one will see us and Nana can help with the jigsaw. She’s good at that” the Little Red Haired Girl consoled “and it’s Ok even without the picture.”

“The picture of our recent life has still to be solved” stated Brain. “now can we get home please as we have lots to do in more ways than one.”
“I don’t want to be on my own” cried Heart “I don’t like it.”
“Who said you are on your own? We are all here every part of us and we are enough. We would not have survived the Pumphouse had we not been. We are good enough on our own.” Soul sighed.

“We are not that bad a company for you are we Heart?” called Spirit.
“No” Heart replied “but no one can take the place of my lover. It feels lonely.”
“Well I could be offended and argue with that” called Spirit.
“Please don’t” stated Brain “We need to get home alone or lonely? it doesn’t matter life has to go on.”

“And we should be thankful” sighed Soul “not everyone has a choice on the matter. We will make new friends and a new path. We will not be alone or lonely for long.”

“You are always protected and never alone” Big voice said with confidence. “It’s a choice.”