115 Hits

The Little Red Haired Girl

115 Hits

“Speaking of placement” Body continued… Soul sighed again, this Pumphouse darkness was oppressive and tiring and the searching never seemed to stop.
“What of it?” was Souls reply.
“I don’t feel in the right place within my family and Heart feels lost. Something is wrong and I can’t explain it.”
“That would appear to be apparent from what the Little Red Haired Girl has been talking about since we have been halted and placed in here. Did you use your voice Body? Did you tell them how Heart felt? Did you request information?”

“Yes, yes, and yes. I even emailed the elders you know Mum and Dads generation, and I was as polite as I was able to be but at the time. I was feeling out of sorts and Spirit seemed angry. I tried to explain how Heart was feeling, I asked them if they knew of any reason why Heart would feel this way. I asked if there was any question about my lineage and whether there was any reason for feeling like my parents did not belong to me or visa versa?”

“Wow. That would not go down well” called Spirit ” but yes you were right, I was angry. Where were they all? Where are they now?”

“I don’t know” admitted Body. “I have asked for ‘space’ in the past which some understood, but family have been misplaced and absent for so long now it feels very strange on my skin.”

“Did you upset them?” cried Heart.

“Probably given the subject matter. I fell out with my daughter because I felt she was acting out of character. I have tried to mend it and place us back together but she is still absent.”

“That’s a shame” cried Heart “a terrible shame. You need to fix it.”

“I have tried, but she talks to me like a stranger. Giving me a list of diary events and things she has done, or what the grandchildren have done which is always nice to hear about, but never asks what I have been doing. A bit like a pleasant neighbour who lives nextdoor with whom you pass the time of day but nothing of depth is spoken of. Nothing of substance. I am not in the right placement. Brother does not answer texts or calls anymore and I sense it’s because of our discussion about DNA testing. I haven’t heard from him since. I have been put outside.”

“Oh no” cried Heart “we were close or so I felt.”

“At one point yes we were but I’ve obviously upset him again. I’ve done it before and managed to salvage my position but this time, all the family seem to have put me outside.”

“I wish we were outside” called Spirit. “I would suggest you are asking questions they don’t want to hear.”

“Maybe but it’s cold outside, and cold and dark in here. Whatever I have done, do I deserve to be misplaced?”
“Did you try to call them?” cried Heart.

“Yes but I gave up. Spirit was getting angry and you Heart were hurting the more I tried.”

“Yes I remember” cried Heart “It was too much to bear on top of and alongside the heartbreak from Noswad.”
“Coincidental? The timing?” called Spirit.

“Who knows” Body was resigned to it and it felt familiar. Like a foot in a well worn slipper.
“Did you get any answers from the elders? Replies to the email? asked Soul.

“Two actual email responses. One from an Aunt living overseas which was polite and reassuring. One from an Aunt that had married into the family. It was helpful in it’s acknowledgement but did not provide any answers directly.”
“Well that was good then” cried Heart.

“Was it? She took the opportunity to defame my Mothers reputation whilst she was at it though. It didn’t jolt me, I knew of it and her opinion anyway, so it wasn’t really necessary for her to do so.”

“But one would have to question her motives for doing that.” called Spirit.
“I ignored it and thanked her for her help and proceeded to ask a little about how her family was. You know being polite and friendly. I asked about her two sons, I asked why I had never met one of them at family gatherings in the past?”

Brain was now distinctly interested. “And her reply?”

“None but an angry emoji” stated Body.
“Ooh err” called Spirit. “What was that for?”

“I don’t know but we had progressed to text messages rather than email. Perhaps she hit the wrong button. I texted that I hadn’t meant to upset her but by then the emoji had been removed. She said I hadn’t upset her and it would take more than a text to explain her relationship with her son. The one I had never met. She sent me her phone number in case I wanted to talk.

“Any other replies?” Brain asked.

None really except a fluffy conversation or two. That in itself seemed odd.”

“How upsetting” cried Heart “to get an angry emoji. Why would she do that? assuming it had not been done by accident, after being so helpful.”

“Like I said, I don’t know but I am getting used to it all. I don’t respond anymore.”

“That’s sad” cried Heart “if we don’t feel able respond it means we are not being true to ourselves. We are only living half a life.”

“Possibly. What’s the alternative? If I keep asking questions I am being misplaced amongst my family, I am losing them. If I don’t ask questions I am betraying how you feel Heart. What do I do? Where do I find my place to be me?

None of them could answer and the sound of the silence deafening. except for Brains racking.
“Can you give up on that Brain?” called Spirit “It’s very annoying.”

Still no answer Brain was deep in thought.

Finally the Little Red Haired Girl spoke. “You have to be quiet.”
“What do you mean Child” cried Heart.
“When adults are talking, you have to be quiet specially if they are shouting. We used to get sent to bed.”
“Oh was there a lot of shouting?” cried Heart.
“Sometimes. We used to sit on the stairs instead and listen sometimes.”
“Why?”
“Dunno. We was together and it felt better than being in our own bed.”

“That’s nice that you were with your brother and sisters.”
“Sister. Only one.”
“Where was the other sister? Heart continued.
“Dunno but she was never on the stairs with us and sometimes Daddy got cross when he caught us there and told us to go back to bed.”
“Did you manage to get to sleep?”
“Yes after a game or two.”
“What game?” called Spirit.

“I used to play a tune on the wall and see if they could guess it.”
“A tune on the wall. How could you play a tune on the wall?”
“The hits of the tune. I would play the hits of the tune with my brush on the wall.”
“What does she mean?” cried Heart.

“I think she is referring to the rhythm. The Rhythm of the tune in the absence of any aforesaid instrument. That would be my conclusion.”

“You are so clever Brain. You should have played with us. You would have been good at guessing the answer” the child smiled.
“I have my uses” Brain acknowledged and was proud to have received a compliment for once.

“It’s a good game” she went on “and it makes you feel better till you fall asleep. Brother was good at it but he always fell asleep first,then little sister, and then I would hum to myself. It took the shouting away.”

“I am pleased you found a song to take it away child” cried Heart.
“It soothes the Soul” Soul sighed “and lifts the Spirit.”
“Can we do it now?” she asked.
“I don’t see why not” answered Body. “Not again!” exclaimed Brain.
“It will be fun” the child answered “specially with all the O’s.”
“What?” exclaimed Brain.

“The O’s. We will have to ignore them” was her answer.
“Ah you mean the echoes?” called Spirit.
“Difficult” admitted Brain thankfully.

“Not necessarily” sighed Soul. “We can ignore them or use them to our advantage. Whichever path we chose. Afterall they could be helpful, one strike equals two let’s assume, or we can count how many we hear and work with that number. It means less work for us. Less physical effort.”

So they set to it, and created all manner of beats with just the two of Body’s hands, and it passed some time and even occupied Brain instead of its dreadful racking, as it tried to predict and count the echoes bouncing around the circular space.