190 The Devil?

Onward Journey

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190 The Devil?

“Why do you do so much writing?” the Little Red Haired girl asked one morning as Body wrote down yet another vivid dream before she forgot it.
“Hmmm….I’m not really sure” Body admitted “except that I feel driven to…. like for a matter of record if nothing else, yet I don’t know why. All I know is that it makes me feel better somehow.”
“But it’s only a dream” the child answered.
“Yes this is. The other writing I do is about what has really happened and is still happening.”
“Omitting the correct setting and actual names” Brain answered.
“Of Course” cried Heart “we cannot write about it without giving others involved the opportunity to come forward.”
“With the truth” Spirit called. “Nothing less will do.”
“It has been a long time overdue” Soul sighed “but it will come along our path.”

“We have tried our own research” commented Brain “and nothing bears fruit for one reason or another. It is beyond our control.”
“We have asked who we thought would know” Body replied “and yet still they will not be honest.”
“What is left to do then?” the child asked.
“A good question” called Spirit “and I believe we are being given answers a little at a time with dreams and voices.”
“It’s all I can bear” cried Heart “the information within them is even more heart breaking.”
“Quite” Soul sighed “Our ancestors and Big voice (oooh that name has stuck) God, have been gentle with us. Too much revealed at once would have made us very ill and landed us straight into the place these people wanted for us.”

“As ‘crazy’ ” Brain reiterated.
“Not P.C. Brain but yes” Soul sighed. “All we can do is surrender the problem to God.”
“Will Big voice answer us?” Brain questioned “after all we could be speaking with the devil. If Big voice exists then the devil surely must too?”
“Others voices may be not good, or even be projected by others, but Big voice whispers in quietness and with calm. Big voice garners patience and trust. Big voice wants us to love and forgive even though we are fighting for justice, for honesty. That is not the work of the devil.”

“But the devil is in the detail apparently” Body remembered “maybe he is being tricksy. Like sending us messages about people being in hospital and wanting us on some sort of wild goose chase.”
“Maybe he’s pretending to be Big voice?” the child asked wearing an expression of fear beyond her years and comprehension. “Maybe we will get into trouble?”
“Hush child” Heart soothed “if we have good intentions for writing and speaking our truth, then we are safe. We mean well. We just want the truth and have tried other ways to obtain it yet nothing is forthcoming, so do not worry we are safe.”

“What if the truth hurts us, or others? What if they are caught in a lie? What if they get told off?” the child worried.
“No one is perfect child, but we cannot protect people if they have done wrong. We can try to forgive them just as we hope to be forgiven for our past mistakes, but we cannot protect them” Heart explained.
“What if it makes them cry? I don’t like to see people cry coz it makes me sad too” the child’s frown deepened.
“I know child” Heart tried to console “but from now on we have to be open about how we feel. We cannot protect others anymore. We have to be free to live our own life without their burdens.”
“What’s left of it” muttered Brain.

“Ungracious” Sprit called Brain out. “We have lived through good times and bad and we have learnt a lot within this lifetime.”
“Agreed” cried Heart ” the bad times nearly broke us but on reflection, how else would we appreciate the good?”

“Even though we know people involved were untruthful? Does it not make you feel ashamed and foolish that we lived and loved so openly? Or lied ourselves?” asked Brain.
“It’s not our shame if it was misused deliberately” sighed Soul “it’s theirs and all we are doing is remembering. Recovering our memory and the subtle signs from it we missed along our path. Different scenarios and snippets of conversations that did or didn’t ring true. Our own lies we have admitted to and asked for forgiveness.”

“And the silences in between the words, the distractions by changing the subject, the omittance of information even if directly asked for. The plans to get us away from the situations unbeknown to us, or to turn it around and blame us for causing disturbance by raising an uncomfortable subject. They all knew us well, they knew we would be ‘playing nicely’ so not to push the subject.”

“What about the recent conversation with Auntie? Even that was evasive” Brain commented.
“She did not seem concerned or surprised on any of the subjects we raised about our parenthood, the doubts shown on our birth certificate even though she stuck with her original story of us being born at home like Mother said, like the midwife said, when the certificate states otherwise. Even when talking to her about God (her favourite subject) and how we would not have survived, literally, without him. Why did she not ask ‘Why? What do you mean? was your life at risk? were you under threat? Have you been ill?’ Even when there were tears from you Body. Does that not seem strange?”
“It does” Spirit called. “And then she changed the subject about how well all her finances and her move had gone. How well her boys were doing financially and how the church had taken care of her in lieu of one of her properties etc”
“She is elderly” Heart cried “and may have been less receptive than usual. Don’t forget she has been ill too.”
“True” Spirit called ” but a strange and stilted conversation when faced with someone obviously distraught and crying don’t you think?”

“In hind sight yes I do” admitted Brain.
“Oh this is too much. All we can do is look up the records if we can.”

“And we shall” called Spirit. “I will not rest till we all feel whole again.”
“Leave it with me” Big voice announced. “Research what you can, but have faith and trust in me.”